Heh. I'm having trouble completing even the smallest of tasks right now. It's time to "look busy" and collect my thoughts. Remember when I said I had a buttload of craziness going on at work? Well, it's officially Tuesday! WOOOOO HOO! I had two of my project reviews at 7am this morning, and they both were a rousing success!

** golf clap **

In addition, I was up til about 1:30 this morning writing a product training binder to send to the sales force, so that hopefully I can get it routed for legal approval by tomorrow, and at the printers for a proof by the time I go out of town on Thursday. Well, thank God it's finished... now all I have to do is some fine-tuning, and I can give it to John (my boss) for him to review. Hee... he and I were both here at 6:30 this morning, and when I walked in I heard him threatening the printer with all kinds of structural damage. Apparently the coffee machine was on the fritz as well.

This actually was quite an accomplishment this morning - for two programs to get signed off on without any team member getting his ass handed to him. (Or her!) And I'm NOT exaggerating. The president of our company is not a nice man. At all. I've worked here for just over a year (having previously worked several years for our competitor) and I've seen this man belittle almost every employee here at one time or another. I travel to Bordeaux once a month (where our corporate office is, and where the president resides even though he is American) for a monthly program review, and if this keeps up I will be gray by the time I'm 33. I'm currently 32 and a half. The entire week is just brutal.

In these meetings, where about 30 people are in attendance, I've witnessed him scream at the engineers and tell them they're lazy, scream at a (very pregnant) project leader and tell her she has no integrity, and even fire one person on the spot. It's amazing really, that this behavior continues to go on. I think it's overlooked because we are a smaller division of a very large corporation, but we are the biggest money-maker for the company right now. I guess their theory is that "the asshole must be doing something right".

I guess he is doing something right, in a way. He's a very intelligent business man, and usually when he finds something wrong, or makes a point... well, usually he's right (which of course pisses me off). I've learned a lot from him, and especially over the last six months we have a pretty well-run operation. It's just the bullish manner in which he addresses the issue. There is absolutely no reason to publicly humiliate someone if he doesn't immediately have an answer to one of his questions, or to start counting on his fingers because your answer to his question has exceeded the "five word limit". Sheesh. -- He pulled that gem on me last month. Dicksmack.

Over the months I've gotten less and less worked up after I leave one of those meetings. John tells me "not to take it personally" and that I need to "get thicker skin". Hell, it's not like he's just picking on me... it's a running joke to guess who's "turn" it is at the next meeting. Everyone agrees that he's an asshole... the strategy is just to get from one meeting to the next without losing a limb.

It's a shame, really... that I got this immense feeling of relief just to get through my two presentations this morning. But on the other hand, he's strengthening the bond between all of my co-workers, if it's only in how much we all want to tie his feet together and hang him from a six-story building. It was cute... after he said, "Well, good job everybody!", we all looked at each other out of the corner of our eyes and started giggling. Heh... John even winked at me.

I swear, as soon as I walked out of that meeting, I felt like it was my first time on land or something. I wanted to grab the nearest palm tree and smother it with kisses. Such a weight has been lifted... the past month has been an absolute nightmare, but there is officially a light at the end aof the tunnel!

About an hour ago John and I went through my presentation for Friday's project review (that actually John will be presenting since I'm traveling for work) and I have some changes I need to make. They're not even that hard, I just can't seem to focus. Writing this is *much* easier!

Ugh, I guess the sooner I get finished, the sooner I can go home and curl up with my kitties. Probably into the fetal position.

feeling... "fire bad, tree pretty"
listening to... Crash Into Me --Dave Mathews Band
praying for... the men and women still preparing to deploy for Iraq miss something?
goodbye my friend - 2005-04-29
out of the loop - 2005-04-09
a quest for clarity - part 1 - 2004-08-30
no plan for a sequel - 2004-08-27
slacker of the month - 2004-08-26