I am trying really hard to have "grace under pressure", but there is only so much I can handle before I start to unravel, start to snap at coworkers, and consequently feel even worse about myself.

I am completely slammed at work right now. I have three projects that I am working on (as a marketing product manager) which all have a "Program Review" on Tuesday (which is a presentation to the President of the company and the executive committee). Each presentation is right after the other. Now, just because I happen to be the only marketing person for all three projects, there are different people for each project working on the engineering side, as well as manufacturing.

The project leaders scheduled the meetings all on the same day, and that's just my tough luck.

Now, technically the executive committee likes to have all of the documents and presentations sent to them to review the week before, so they can have some questions already prepared. Sometimes we have time to do this, but most of the time everyone is scrambling at the last minute just to get everything finished. (You can imagine how having three of these reviews hit all at the same time could be sort of stressful.)

So, yesterday one of the project leaders tells me that he needs my [insert random document here] by the end of the day so he can have everything for *his* project sent early. Brownnoser. Forget the fact that some of the things I am working on need to be finished so that someone else on the team can finish something of theirs. I tell him ok, he'll have it by the end of the day.

I stayed at work til around 8:15 yesterday, so that I could finish some things for another team member, and finally I called it a night. Yes. I forgot to finish [insert random document here]. So what do I see when I log into my email this morning? I'll treat you to a little excerpt.

Everybody needs to meet their commitments for the project to be on time. I would also like to add that this is not very considerate of the people that have to do work after you (ie myself and Carine) and of the rest of the project team that provided their stuff on time (some staying late to meet their commitment) but will now look like they were delayed.

*Ahem.* Needless to say this really set me off. And to top it off, he copied my boss on the email as well. Ass. It's not like I'm sitting here filing my fucking nails all day. And the work that Carine has to do after me? Make copies. Make ten fucking copies to pass out. Not that I'm not sorry for being late, but forgive me if I'm not shedding a tear over the fact that she had to make the copies this morning, as opposed to yesterday afternoon.

So, I apologize, Mr. Project Leader, that your precious reputation is soiled because the presentations were only distributed FOUR days early instead of FIVE. I hope that my LACK OF CONSIDERATION and COMMITMENT hasn't caused any long-term damage to your career path. Tool.

Whew! Of course, in the real world I just bend over and take it up the pie hole, and don't tell him where he can shove his [insert random document here]. It just kills me that some people are totally looking out for number one. (Oh, and by the way he's French, and has this naturally smug, arrogant attitude which grates on my nerves.) And to copy my boss? Was a *serious* dick move on his part. Actually John, my boss, was really cool about it and (I found out later) went off on him for it. He knows I'm working my ass off - random diary entry not withstanding, heh - and is cutting me some slack.

It's just that it put me in even more of a bad, stressed out mood, and has made me so tense all day. I hear myself get snippy with someone just for asking a (albeit stupid) question, and normally I'm not like that.

Damn! I sound like such a bitch right now. Oh well. Just two more weeks, and things'll settle down. I think I just need to avoid any human contact for the next few days. Sorry for the venting!

feeling... like I'm about to pull my hair out
debating.... will I get more done tonight here at the office, or if I work at home
miss something?
goodbye my friend - 2005-04-29
out of the loop - 2005-04-09
a quest for clarity - part 1 - 2004-08-30
no plan for a sequel - 2004-08-27
slacker of the month - 2004-08-26