Is there some sort of recourse you can take when your entire Sunday afternoon is wasted because you're waiting on the cable guy? I mean, after years and years of residential cable installation, shouldn't they have come up with a successful method of, oh I don't know... arriving at your house as SCHEDULED? Now I understand the old saying "no pain, no gain", so if I want to make my life more fulfilling through the wonders of digital cable, I'm willing to sacrifice three hours of my day.

"He'll be here between 11 and 2? No problem!" I'll use that time to catch up on my email, skim some journals, maybe even watch that episode of Buffy I taped Tuesday night. And maybe... just *maybe* he'll be here in the first hour (heh), and then I'll have the rest of my day free!

11:30 Hmmmm, we scheduled this over two weeks ago. Should I have called to confirm? Nah, I guess he's going to be THAT cable guy and show up during the last hour. Whatever...

12:30 I wonder if I have time to go to the store. No, sure as shit he'll show up during the 15 minutes that I'm gone, and my appointment will be cancelled. Nope, I can wait until 2. I'll just pop in that tape now...

1:40 "Um, hi. Digital cable people? Yeah, I'm just calling to see where the cable guy is...... My appointment time? Well, it was between 11 and 2...... Well it's already...... uh huh. Ok, thanks. [click] Perfect."

2:15 "Um, yeeeaah. Hi. It's now 2:15 and my cable guy is officially LATE. Could you please tell me where he is?...... Well I *know* he's running behind, that's why I'm calling...... A credit? Well, thanks, but I still need a ti...... You can't give me a time??...... Yeah. Ok. Thanks. [click] Fuck."

3:45 "Reschedule?? NO! I don't want to reschedule. I've already been waiting over FOUR HOURS!!...... He's on his way?...... Thanks. [CLICK] FUCK!!"

4:20 "Yes, I'm [wllybere]. Come in. I've got the tv already pulled out for you, the VCR unhooked, the cables neatly lined up and ready to go. All you've gotta do is pop that box... wait a minute where's the cable box?...... No, I already *have* regular cable. I ordered *digital* cable...... Yes. Digital. Silver Package...... YES, I'm [wllybere]...... You have to go get a BOX?? How long will that take? ...... All right. I'm running to the store. If you get back before I do, DON'T LEAVE!! [car door slams] Son-of-a-mother-fucking-WHORE!"

5:00 "Come in...... yep, right over there......"

5:15 "You're done? Great. So, while you're here can you add the HBO On-Demand feature?...... No, I *don't* already have that service. You have to order it separately...... Yes, I *KNOW* I have nine HBO channels. It's not the same thi... Hold on."

5:20 "Look. Right there. The website says, 'Subscription service - $4.95 a month'...... No, it's not... Oh, forget it, I'll just call them myself and order it. Can you just make sure that my *regular* On-Demand features work?...... Thanks, dude."

5:30 "Sign this? But I don't think it's working yet...... No, LOOK at it. When you try any of the On-Demand channels nothing happens...... Have you actually *INSTALLED* cable before??"

5:38 "Tell the guy that the regular channels work, but the On-Demand channels don't work...... I KNOW I have to have a subscription to HBO On-Demand. That's not the ISSUE!!! CHRIST!!!...... Let me talk to them...... Huh? You're going to get a new BOX???? You've GOT to be kidding me...... It's in your truck? Fine. Whatever."

6:10 "Regular channels?...... Check. On-Demand channels?...... Check. Will I sign?...... Theeere ya go. Don't let the door HIT ya where the Good Lord SPLIT ya."

6:15 God. FINALLY. Ok, here we go. Wait a minute. "What the hell kind of a remote IS this??? HEY!! WAIT!!!!"

"Fuck me."

feeling... homicidal
listening to...pete yorn
watching...alias miss something?
goodbye my friend - 2005-04-29
out of the loop - 2005-04-09
a quest for clarity - part 1 - 2004-08-30
no plan for a sequel - 2004-08-27
slacker of the month - 2004-08-26