There's one thing about my current living arrangements that I don't like, and it's that I feel like I don't have any privacy. Oh, I live by myself, but I rent a house in the back yard of a family that I feel like is always, well, watching me.

Before I moved here in January I had always lived in an apartment complex, with neighbors on either side, and usually above or below as well. The close proximity didn't bother me, and even when my patio door faced someone else's kitchen window it was all good. Because we all faced the same situation - you go about your business and you mind your own. Nobody knew (or cared) where I was, what I was doing, or who I was doing it with.

Now I live in a one-bedroom cottage smack dab in the middle of a suburbanite upper-class neighborhood, surrounded by yippy dogs and picket fences and 2.5 kids in every direction.

Don't get me wrong, I was extremely lucky to find this place. Last year I had a 45 minute commute to work and I lived in the middle of nowhere. I happened upon an online ad for this house and scooped it up as soon as I saw it. It's five minutes from my office, has a modern kitchen plus washer & dryer (extremely rare for older houses in NJ), and has a huge back deck and patio. It's just like a mini house. I had to get rid of my second set of bedroom furniture, but the benefits definately made it worth it. Plus it was MUCH cheaper than I was paying before.

So what's the problem? I feel like I'm under surveillance. THAT's the problem.

We share the same driveway, and my car sits beside my house, so it's obvious when I'm home and when I'm not. Now normally this wouldn't be any big deal, but this family has made a point to be all up in my business and seems aware of my every movement.

I mean, what must they be thinking? Here's this thirty-year-old(ish) single female, who spends all her time either at work, out of town, or tucked away in the house. Just stamp a big ole "LOSER" on my forehead and get it over with!

And I know I'm not just imagining this. Case in point - a Saturday afternoon, two weeks ago. I walk out the front door at 1pm.

Husband: "Oh! She's awake!"

Wife: "Look son! She's still in her pajamas!"

Ok, FIRST of all, they're NOT pajamas. They're scrubs, and I wear them around the house whether I'm sleeping or not. And SECOND of all, I didn't just wake up but what business is it of yours if I DID??

If I want to come home on Friday night from a trip, and stay up until 4am watching "V - The Final Battle" marathon on some channel I didn't even know I had, and stuff myself with Cheetos and Diet Coke, well DAMMIT I'm gonna do it!

And if I want to take the one day that I have at home and turn off the phone and sleep until noon, well dammit I'm gonna do that too! I'm on nobody's timetable but my own.

Plus there's the added joy of this Single Friend that they want to fix me up with. "He's very good looking, and he makes a LOT of money." Oh he's got MONEY?? Well, slap my ass and call me lucky!! Sign me up!!

Sheesh.

So here I am - sitting at my computer in my "pajamas" while the Single Friend is in the yard helping to build a deck. (I guess I'm supposed to swoon because he's good with a hammer too?)

I feel like a captive in my own house because I don't even want to walk in front of my windows. I'm sure the husband is going, "Yep, she's been in there going on 36 hours now. Car hasn't moved."

Eventually I'm going to run out of Diet Coke.

feeling... this weather sucks ass
listening to... collective soul -- the world I know
getting ready... Carl (my boss) is having a "dinner party" tonight . Yay. miss something?
goodbye my friend - 2005-04-29
out of the loop - 2005-04-09
a quest for clarity - part 1 - 2004-08-30
no plan for a sequel - 2004-08-27
slacker of the month - 2004-08-26