Today was my first day back at work after a week off, and I went in as a completely different person.

Well, ok... not completely different.

I still had little trademark features - like a butterfly stitch around my index finger, from slicing it open while attempting to ventilate a microwavable plastic bag.

But to most casual observers, I would appear quite different.

See, I had Kristine's bachelorette party to go to, so I actually took the time last week to make myself look like a girl again. I went to try to salvage what was left of my hair after taking the scissors to it in a fit of desperation. I told my hairdresser that I thought it had been a couple of months since I'd been in.

He said, "No, it was April 22nd."

"Oh.... Well, no wonder I look like shit."

He made me a blonde again, and peppered me with new hair products. "This spray-on conditioner is really light. And, it will protect your hair from the sun. (pause) Not that you've been."

Ha!

That little statement prompted me to visit the local tanning salon. Now, I didn't want to burn myself for my Friday night out in the city, so I took the plunge and went for the "Hollywood Tan". The booth you stand in, that sprays you all over for 6 seconds with some unnatural and probably toxic solution.

I was told that as it dripped down, that I should very carefully rub it into any spot that I didn't think had been sprayed. Thankfully, I paid particular attention to my face, and it ended up blending quite well.

The rest of my body? Not so fortunate.

Of course, I didn't notice this until Saturday morning - luckily every place that I went to Friday night was dark enough that people (hopefully) didn't notice the brownish-orange streaks running down the back of my legs, or the completely white patches on the backs of my arms.

But, for my purposes on Friday, I looked like I actually had a little color instead of something you could see through if you tried hard enough.

We went to The Donkey Show, an Off-Broadway show that is basically Shakespeare on LSD, and then hit a few bars until 4 in the morning.

All in all, the night was a success. Kristine got loaded, we all got loaded trying to GET her loaded, and I had some guys that I'll never see again ask for my number.

Not too shabby!

So now my goal this week is to get a REAL fake tan, to try to even out this mess before I go to Kristine's wedding this weekend. Somehow I think the streaks may be a little more obvious in a sleeveless dress.

Ah, the things we do to look like a girl.

feeling... that title sounds really gross for some reason
watching... alias - season 1 dvd set
miss something?
goodbye my friend - 2005-04-29
out of the loop - 2005-04-09
a quest for clarity - part 1 - 2004-08-30
no plan for a sequel - 2004-08-27
slacker of the month - 2004-08-26