big sky country... and a little bit more

"Goodmorning Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Joe Schmo and I'll be your captain today. We've got a pretty smooth ride for the next 2 hours and 15 minutes, and we should be getting you to the gate in Great Falls on schedule. For now just sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

Oh, and by the way it is a little cold there today. The temperature is currently 1 or 2 degrees below zero. [snicker] Enjoy your flight."

Present Time

Well, at least I can say that it has warmed up some. It's now 2 *whole* degrees! Woohoo! It was bizarre flying in here this morning... it looked like Antarctica. Nothing but flat and white for as far as the eye could see. Oh, except for that guy who was herding his cows or something. It looked pretty funny from as high as I was. The (cows?) were running around in circles. Hee! But I'm easily entertained.

I'm currently sitting in my hotel room waiting to go to dinner in a little while, and I would like to confess that I have an illness... it's called "married guyosis". There is *seriously* something wrong with me.

Ok, look. I'm 32, single (obviously), relatively attractive, and I've got a great job. The problem is that I never have time to do anything about my social life. When I lived in Memphis and Atlanta, I could always fill the "down time" with my buddies... the guys that I've been friends with for years. Now that I live in New Jersey, it has been extremely difficult to meet anyone outside of work, and I would never date anybody that works in the same office.

So what do I do to fill my fantasy quota? I pick the most unattainable guy that I can find and decide that *that's* the guy that my future boyfriend/husband has to be like.

Take, for instance, the guy that I'm working with today. He's the sales rep for the customer that I'm meeting with tonight, and he is hands-down one of the sexiest guys I've ever met. I've met him a couple of times before at various meetings, and thought "He's a nice, good looking guy." But, I notice the wedding ring and - not that he's hitting on me, by any means - I try not to get too involved in any personal conversation. Because I *know* that I would end up liking this guy, and that it would be totally pointless.

Unfortunately, I ended up having phone conversations with him lately as I decided that I would be potentially using his customer as a trial site. And in doing so, I found out that not only is he a "nice, good looking guy", but he's sooo funny, and he's got a sexy "Idaho" accent (if you know what that is) and he's just really fun to talk to. So, I confess that I've been having impure thoughts about a married man. (Again.)

But the pathetic thing is, I would never act on them. And by "pathetic", I mean that I am totally satisfied having fantasy thoughts about a guy that nothing will ever, EVER happen with. I look forward to talking to him on the phone, this morning I looked forward to seeing him again as I sat on the plane, and I thoroughly enjoyed the two-hour lunch we had, just sitting there - talking about our lives, our interests. He even has the same favorite movies as I do, and he picks the olives off of his nachos, and it's just WRONG that somebody could be this perfect.

And it makes me feel good that I can tell he is attracted to me too, and that maybe if our paths had crossed and he *wasn't* married, we would be a perfect match. But I know that that's all it is. I know he'll never reveal anything to me, and I know that I'll never reveal anything to him. And that's the way it'll stay, and that's ok with me.

I just wish that I could develop a healthy crush for once. (Because believe me, this isn't the first time this has happened.) Over the years as I've travelled with my job, I've had several of these "fantasy guys" that never even knew I was all stoopid over them. Wouldn't you think the odds would eventually have to fall in my favor though, and that one of these guys would actually be somebody I could, oh I don't know... date??

Well, he just called, and I've got a big stupid grin on my face. But that's ok. I'm not doing anything wrong... I'm not out to steal anyone's husband. I guess the only person I'm really hurting is myself... but for now? It makes me feel happy. And that's something I could use a little more of.