gross anatomy

I saw this in Dingus' diary, and I thought it was kind of interesting. This site will tell you the REAL reason you are who you've become today, because apparently it all depends on what you are named. Here's what they had to say about me...

As 'P' you are rather serious-minded, responsible, and stable. You have the gift of tact and diplomacy, and possess a charming, easy-going nature which endears you to others. You have a serious desire to understand the heart and mind of everyone, and could be very effective in a career or in volunteer work where you are handling people and serving in a humanitarian way. This name also gives you a love of home and family, and as a parent you would likely be fair and understanding. You remember the thoughtful little expressions of affection and appreciation that mean so much to others, and you have the ability to create a warm and loving environment. However, you tend to put things off and avoid facing issues because of a lack of confidence and uncertainty. You often need encouragement from someone before you can come to a decision. This name creates a generally well-balanced and healthy nature, but any weakness in the health would cause problems in the fluid functions, such as kidney or bladder trouble, overweight, or swelling of the legs and ankles.

Wow, all that because of my name? Cool!

Of course, the All-Knowing Kabalarians apparently think I would make a good mother, which I find sort of humorous. (Well, maybe I would... but only if someone else fed them. Otherwise they'd be raised on buffalo wings and cheese dip.)

Actually it's sort of funny... I did my middle name analysis and it said that I was "inclined to indulge in rich foods that lack proper nourishment". hee!

I'm trying to just chill out this weekend. I can't spend the entire month as stressed as I have been lately. Yesterday I watched Monster's Ball - and I can't really remember who told me this - but someone said that it was just a "porn movie". Now, I didn't quite see what all of the fuss was about (as far as Oscars are concerned), but I certainly didn't think it was just smut. There was really only one sex scene and it was pretty mild compared to everything else out there. Overall, the movie was ok but it dragged out and was depressing as hell.

Then I watched Punch Drunk Love - now that's a good movie. I thought Adam Sandler did a great job, because usually every time I see one of his movies, I see the same goofy character each time. I wasn't thinking "yeah, that's Adam Sandler" at all while I was watching it, if that makes any sense.

Today I'm trying to catch up on my diaries. I've been really lame and haven't had time to read or comment the way I like to. I've also GOT to get this place clean again before I leave town tomorrow. When I walked in Saturday morning, there was a FOUL smell coming from somewhere... I've gotten rid of the trash and cleaned the litter box, but I'm not sure I've tracked it down completely.

Both kitties have been tossing their cookies all weekend, so there's no telling what little presents I might not have even found yet. I'm really hoping they're not sick, but they're acting pretty strange. Maybe it has to do with me starting to travel again, which is a bad thing considering I'm going to be gone most of this month.

Ok, I'm off to clean for a bit... I'm not looking forward to it because I'm really sore. Gravity was definately not my friend this weekend, as I fell down the steps at the hotel restaurant Friday morning, and I slipped on the wet floor of the bar and shit the pooper (tm gumphood) Friday night.

Oh, .... that reminds me. I was actually going to tell a story about the lab I was in on Thursday (I think Gump will get a kick out of it). If you gross out easily, you might want to skip it....

Ok, so I went to do another cadaver lab with the surgeon down in Houston. Well, this facility wasn't really equipped for working on a whole body... they usually just remove whatever part of the body they need to do research on, and don't worry with surgical instruments, retractors, etc.

So, the doctor was trying to simulate an actual surgery, and the 'patient' needed to be on her side. There was nothing around to prop the body up with, so we decided to lay it in this industrial sized sink that was built into the counter we were working on. Now even though this 'patient' was just a torso with no head, legs, or arms, it still didn't quite fit into the sink properly.

I'd like to add here that even though I am giggling as I write this, it is only because the situation was so bizarre. I have total respect for the people who donate their bodies to science, or the homeless person who (though he may not get a proper burial) ends up giving his body to help further medical research.

Now, because the torso didn't fit properly, it was in the sink at an angle. And with no proper surgical equipment, the doctor was having a really difficult time getting where he needed to be.

So he's standing on one side of the sink with Mark (my replacement) over there helping him with our implants and instruments. I was on the other side of the sink, so that I could get up close to watch, take notes, and take pictures. Dee Dee and Roman, two of the local sales people, were on my side of the sink as well. I should also probably mention that Dee Dee is three months pregnant, and wasn't looking so hot at this point.

After struggling for a bit, Dr. H says, "I think we're going to have to improvise."

He takes a scalpel, and completely removes the liver. He asked what he should do with it, and a lab worker goes, "Oh, just put it there."

'There' being the counter right in front of us.

Then Dr. H goes, "Well we won't be needing these either" and removes both of her lungs.

So, I'm standing there, staring at this pile of organs and a mutilated torso in front of me. In the body was a huge pool of blood where he had removed everything.

I turned around and poor Dee Dee was standing there - completely green - with her hand over her mouth. I did the only thing I could think of, and covered up the organs with some paper towels.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

heh

As I was talking to her, out of the corner of my eye I could see a lab worker come over and pick up the liver and lungs. All of a sudden I felt this SPLASH on my right side.

I swear that the sound that came out of me wasn't human.

When I looked down, instead of the blood that I thought was going to be there, I was covered in water. Like some bad comedy, the faucet over the sink was running, splashing on the torso, and water was going everywhere. For the life of us we couldn't figure out how to turn it off!

Finally one of the lab workers said that one of us must be on the floor pedal, and sure enough.... the box that the worker had dropped the organs in was sitting on it.

Well, that was definately some comedic relief, but was more than Dee Dee could take. She didn't hang around for the rest of the lab.

On that note, I'm going to go take a shower now. Special thanks to Melody for making my new guestbook!! Unfortunately she's having her own diary-stalker issues, and is locked up. Leave me (or her) a guestbook entry and let me know what you think!