I'm starting to run into a problem. Remember my expanding butt? Well, I'm definately running out of proper clothing to wear. And by "proper", I mean pants that don't give me camel toe as soon as I put them on.

Let me back up.... this morning I had an 8am project review with my psychotic company president, so I didn't want to be late. I set out an outfit before I went to bed and called it a night.

Well, sometime during the night I heard Georgie coughing up a hairball somewhere in my room. I was SO tired, so I got out of bed and picked up the offending hairball, but didn't feel like giving the floor a proper srubbing at 3am. So, I grabbed the nearest thing I could find (a plastic bag) and threw it over the wet spot where it could wait until morning.

I was just drifting back to sleep when I hear

SCRATCH...

SCRATCH...

SCRATCH...

It was none other than Miss Hairball herself, trying to use the plastic bag as a litter box to cover up whatever smell I guess she could detect.

"Quit it!"

SCRATCH...

SCRATCH...

"KNOCK IT OFF!"

SCRATCH...

SCRA...

"GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!"

Now, let me preface this next part with a disclaimer: I-in-no-way-meant-to-hit-my-kitty-with-a-lint-roller-it-was-only-supposed-to-land-somewhere-near-her.

*ahem*

Anyway, as I was making that last request, I simultaneously picked up a lint roller that was on my night stand - with the intention of scaring her off - because you know, that's just SO much easier than actually getting up and taking away the plastic bag.

However, as soon as I screamed suggested she leave, she bolted for the door - unfortunately running smack dab into the flying lint roller. OF COURSE I felt bad for a second, but it wasn't really a loud bonk on the nose, so I figured it couldn't have hurt her too badly. Any curiosity I had on that subject died as soon as I started drifting back into sweet oblivion.

So yeah - the 8am meeting.

I didn't wake up until 7:15, but that gave me plenty of time since I had already set my clothes out... right???

Oh, these clothes? You mean the ones that are covered in cat piss???

"BITCH!!!"

Next thing I know I'm running around frantically trying to find something to wear that wasn't dirty, worn in the last two days, or too small to wear to anything other than a strip joint.

Now that I think about it, I really have more than one problem. I swear... karma is a BITCH.

feeling... I really need to go shopping
listening to... goodbye stranger -- supertramp
reading... mystic river -- dennis lehane miss something?
goodbye my friend - 2005-04-29
out of the loop - 2005-04-09
a quest for clarity - part 1 - 2004-08-30
no plan for a sequel - 2004-08-27
slacker of the month - 2004-08-26