because you didn't ask
2003-04-02, 4:51 p.m.
I am a very picky eater. I'm not proud of this, but it's just a fact. It's kind of a pain, especially when I have to go to business dinners all the time, but luckily I can usually find at least one thing on the menu I can eat. Chicken is pretty much a safe bet, but I usually go with beef... unless of course there's a bunch of crap that the chicken or beef is cooked with. Then we have a problem.
I am also not a very *healthy* eater. (This is probably fairly obvious seeing my limited choices of food.) I thrive on junk food, frozen dinners, and appetizers.
Maybe I'll start by dividing this into categories.
Entire Food Groups I Won't Eat (EFGIWE)
Seafood - This includes - but is not limited to - fish, lobster, crab, shrimp and anything that lived in a shell. Any appetizer that swam when it was alive is off limits, and sushi in any form is a no-no.
Asian Food - Chinese, Thai, Indian, or Japanese. If for some reason I am forced to go to a restaurant, I can eat plain beef, chicken, and rice.
Cereal - Yeah, I know. It's not really a food group, but I won't eat any flavor or brand. I don't care if you douse it in chocolate syrup, it still has a cereal aftertaste. Ice cream cones fall into this category as well.
Vegetables - Pretty self-explanatory; however, there are some exceptions. Potatoes of any kind are pretty much a staple in my diet. Corn, green beans and English peas are ok, but they must be served "Southern Style", meaning cooked with lots of butter, sugar, and salt.
Food Quirks that Drive People Crazy (FQTDPC)
* Even though I don't eat vegetables, I still like the flavor of them. I just don't want to *chew* them. Things that are cooked with onions, peppers, or tomatoes are fine, I just have to pick out the offending produce once it's ready.
* The food on my plate cannot touch. If a stray piece of corn gets mixed up in my macaroni, there will be hell to pay.
* I can only eat Heinz ketchup. No Hunts, No DelMonte, none of that "fancy" shit. McDonald's made me very sad when they switched.
* I love pie, but not pie crust (Unless it's a graham cracker or cookie crust).
* I don't generally eat breakfast food, so I'll eat whatever's handy in the morning: pizza, chocolate, chips & dip, doesn't matter.
* I don't drink coffee, but I have to have a diet coke in the morning. HAVE to. This can sometimes cause problems when no coke machine is handy.
* If I can't identify it on sight? It's not going in my mouth. This is unfortunate, because I know that sometimes I miss out. However, I'd rather miss out on the best casserole ever made, than bite into some cleverly hidden tomatoes.
* I'll only eat mustard and lettuce on my cheeseburgers. Ketchup doesn't belong on bread. Mayonnaise.... ugh. Tomatoes are evil. Onions (well, it's a vegetable). If a pickle shows up I'll live, but I have to take it off and eat it separately.
Well, needless to say my mother had a very trying time when I was growing up. She used to force me to eat a banana and drink a glass of milk before I could leave for school. (It was very traumatic.) She has long since given up, but I know she'll always wonder just where she went wrong. No one else in my family has these, um, "issues".
I guess it probably would have been easier to list the things I DO eat, but that would've been a really short entry. I'll briefly list some of my favorite things:
pizza
cheese
buffalo wings
steak
spaghetti
ice cream (chocolate mint)
garlic cheese toast
cheese dip
If any of you are wondering whether you should call social services, no need to worry - I have no children as of yet to pass these bad habits to. I know that if I ever do plan to breed (heh), I'll need to marry someone very tolerant and that can cook. One meal for me, and one meal that won't actually stunt a child's growth.
Mmmmmm Cheese dip.
listening to... If Things Were Perfect -- Moby
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