It's been a little while since I've updated. Actually, I wrote a couple of entries the last couple of days that I was in France, but I couldn't post them because I didn't have access to the web at the time.

When I went to post them yesterday, I realized that they were pretty much all about my love for things that will eventually lead to a stroke or liver failure or both, so I scrapped 'em.

From now on you will see a kinder, gentler, and - most importantly - healthier me.

Yeah I know.... whatever.

---

I was doing some cleaning on Saturday, and I started picking up a couple of articles of clothing that were lying about my bedroom floor. When I tossed them into the laundry basket, I caught a whif of an unpleasant yet strangely familiar odor lingering in the air.

I picked up a sweatshirt and held it to my nose.

"What the fuck??"

Remember a couple of weeks ago when Georgie pissed on my clothes? Well, at first I thought it was just because she was mad at me for throwing a lint roller at her head.

Apparently it goes deeper than that.

Both the sweatshirt and another pair of pants that I had left on the floor were dry, but I could tell that they had previously had multiple points of piss impact.

The only reason she is still living is the fact that there were no stains or smells on the carpet.

I started to check out the rest of the house. The den was fine, and the bathroom was ok as well. I deduced that this was because there was nothing strewn about the floor in those two rooms, thus nothing for her to violate.

"No, she's more clever than this," I thought.

I went back into the bathroom and picked up the bathmat. My purple, fluffy bathmat. She had defaced that as well.

Now, this actually squicks me out way more than you can possibly imagine.

I have MAJOR issues with bathrooms, even my own. Whenever I step out of the shower, I feel like little microscopic germs and hairs and whatever the fuck else is on the floor is attaching itself to my wet feet. So I have to stand on a bathmat, or - especially in a strange place (because who knows where that bathmat has been) - I'll put down a towel to stand on instead.

When I feel like my feet are sufficiently dry enough, I'll allow myself to venture out onto the bathroom floor.

No telling HOW many times I've stepped innocently and naively out of my shower, only to stand there like an asshole drying my feet on a piss covered purple, fluffy bathmat.

This does not make me happy.

I threw the bathmat away, and went and bought a new one. I periodically checked it during the day... so far so good. However, that night I walked past the bathroom only to see George circling on top of it.

"NO NO NO!!!"

Luckily I caught her in time, and she darted out of there. About ten minutes later I saw her using her litter box.

Now, I'm left with how to solve this little issue.

You can't punish a cat. You can't take her and stick her nose in it and beat the shit out of her, because it wouldn't do any good. (I guess you could do it just for fun, but it wouldn't really solve the problem.)

It's not an issue of her litter box being dirty, because I always keep it clean for both her and Sam.

I can keep clothes from hitting my floor, but for obvious reasons I don't want to have to keep checking my bathmat for cat piss. I could close my bathroom door, but what if she freaks out by the lack of a messy room and no bathmat to pee on, and starts seeking out alternative targets?

The simplest solution would obviously be to get rid of her; however, anyone who knows me even the slightest bit knows that this isn't really an option. You don't just get rid of a cat that you've had for eleven years because of a little urine.

I guess she doesn't have to know that.

Now that I think about it, I'm also left with why the hell is she pissing on my stuff to begin with?? Is she still mad about the lint roller? Is this her subtle way of telling me to clean my room?

I wonder if Dr. Spock ever dealt with this in his books.

feeling... still a bit squicked out
listening to... between the bars --elliott smith
reading... I'm about to catch up on a buttload of diaries miss something?
goodbye my friend - 2005-04-29
out of the loop - 2005-04-09
a quest for clarity - part 1 - 2004-08-30
no plan for a sequel - 2004-08-27
slacker of the month - 2004-08-26